Back after a very long time..

well my last post was back in december last year.. many things have changed from then till now,, now nothing feels right.. btw happy valentines day.. this year valentines day is like equalents to nothin for me last year this exact day was just wow....spending the day just with Ash..meant a lot but not anymore..Ash himself is not here with me anymore how can 14 Feb be normal without you jhalla?? i miss u.. more than anything in this world u were always there for me in times of need and also when i was extremely happy.. now its just me and loneliness. no matter how tough i look at the outside how much i act normal..how much i smile.. it does not even help a little bit to forget u.. i know whatever i do u r never ever gonna be appearing in front of me and say i love u jhaali.. i miss that feeling of love from someone.. i miss than sudden hugs from behind i misss when u talk in a very serious tone and tn i interupt u by giving u a kiss n as always u ended up smilling.. all those wonderful time when we were together wheneven silence meant a thousand words but now even a thousand word dont mean a thing to me where should i be searching these loving moments where shoild i be searching my Ash..my Ashwin he did what he said..that he"ll love me to his last breath u said to me that i need to move on in my life.. but u never teach me how to move on,, u taught me how to love..how to miss...how to be me.. but jaan-e-mann u forgot teach me how to move on..how to forget u..how yo live without u.. why had all this happened to us?? i want you Ash..i really want you.. my life is now meaningless without u.. without the touch if you long fingers.. i want those arms in which i spent millions of nite.. i want it back.. but all of these tears are just good for nothin.. i know they cant bring u back.. i dont care what anyone says i will never stop loving you... yours forever...